Just grateful, just because

Wow, time flies. This is just a note to say that I am grateful for many, many things. Just thought I'd put that out there. There can't be enough gratitude in this world.

Cloistered

That's the word people kept tossing around when describing what it's like to complete this program in a year. Cloistered.

While the idea of living a monastic lifestyle excites me as much as the next person, I'm determined. My goal is to resist the natural habits of students which may include sloth and procrastination, and focus during an intensive program while maintaining sanity (via renewing activities, sleep, positive reinforcement, keeping tabs on outside interests like political races, coffee), health (via biking to school and going to the gym--activities unfortunately offset by cookie and coffee consumption) and a semblance of a social life (via good friends).

Week 3: Still semi-sane.

Mission accomplished.

Vote, please. Thanks!

Okay, now that the second week of graduate school is coming to a close, I can focus some excitement on the upcoming primary elections in Hawaii! If you haven't voted, please vote! You can find your polling station here: http://elections3.hawaii.gov/ppl/

Thanks!

Maybe Gatsby Just Wasn't Running Fast Enough To Catch the Green Light...

...or maybe he was on a treadmill.

When it comes to my various week-long re-commitments to going to the gym, I feel a little like the wistful Jay Gatsby in Fitzgerald's novel. He "believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter-- to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning---" we'll stay home and stuff our faces with doughnuts. Okay, that's not how Fitzgerald ended his novel, but you get the idea.

After a good night's sleep and good eats, I was ready to tackle day one today--new faces, new challenges and all. So, compelled by my first day enthusiasm I also picked up a semester pass to the gym. In retrospect, this means either one of two things:

1) I will finally get my run on and balance out my lentil soup gorging, doughnut snarfing habits.

2) I got sucked in by a good deal and my enthusiasm for starting a new leaf, will use it for the first week and then feel too bogged down in work (or doughnuts) to get my butt to the gym.

But maybe this time, the green light isn't on the shore across from me. Maybe it doesn't recede from me. Maybe this year is the year I catch up with it. If I write this up here and gym-time is in my planner as scheduled time, maybe I'll stick to possible outcome #1.

What mechanisms do you have in place to jump start and then maintain activities till they become habits?

Happy adventuring!

Why Comfort Is Important When Committing To No Resistance

or why I am gorging on curried lentil soup....

The approach of a new school year always reminds me of the mounting dread I used to feel as a middle schooler (and quite frankly, probably even high schooler-- okay, I still feel it alright) of going back to school. So up until maybe the start of my undergrad career, without fail, the night before the first day of school, I would cry.

It's not like I had a bad school life. In fact, I had an awesome group of friends, supportive teachers, and was nerdy enough to genuinely enjoy class time. So why the tears? Because I am scared silly by the prospect of new things (even non-school related) and the possibility of failure.

Tonight I'm not in tears, though I'm still a little nervous. The faculty have done an excellent job of making the students feel welcome and the students I've met so far seem friendly, fun, and really into this English stuff. Still, the doubts about my capabilities in this new situation linger. To cope with these feelings I have a little system that includes some of my favorite things: preparation, friends, food, and sleep.

1) Be prepared. This means making sure I have all the materials I need for the first day, have printed out and organized e-mails and important documents, and know exactly where I have to go that first week of classes.

2) Say yes to social engagements. Social and Katie are not usually two words that go together. While interacting with human beings I don't know makes me nervous (I'm a tad socially awkward), it's better to make friends sooner than later! Friends make the journey much more pleasant. Plus, the reality is most people are friendly, engaging, and won't laugh (in your face) about your social ineptitudes.

3) Hang out with familiar faces. After being outside my comfort zone and meeting new people, it's been really nice to reconnect with old friends and stay connected with family. Not only are they a fun bunch of people, they are inspiring, re-energizing, and... a reminder that if they're still my friends, maybe other people will be too!

4) Do something totally relaxing. Rick and I booked a car from the Victoria Car Share and camped at Sombiro for three days. We woke up to the sound of stellar jays, crows, and waves raking jasper, sandstone, quartz, and illusive agate pebbles down the beach. For me, being outdoors reminds me that the world is such a big place-- I just need to step outside myself occasionally to realize the worries clouding my mind are such a minute part of the human experience (e.g. it's no big deal, so suck it up and just enjoy life).

5) Eat Comfort Food. This is probably one of my favorite steps. Recently, I've been gorging on curries-- Japanese, Red Thai Curry, and now a Curried Lentil Soup (recipe courtesy of "A Good Appetite" Blog ). For me, eating a curried lentil soup, or udon, or fried rice transform that feeling of impending doom to one mixed with happiness for the present, excitement for tomorrow, and appreciation for the past that has brought me to this point (whatever it may be). Plus-- I just really like eating.

6) Get A Good Night's Sleep. I'm much less effective (and certainly much more awkward) if I'm exhausted, so a good night's sleep keeps me on top of my game, and at the very least, from falling asleep in class.

7) Accept That Sheer Terror Can Be a Sign Of a Growth Opportunity. Okay, not sheer terror, but appropriate nervousness for a safe but new situation can be good. Growth comes by stepping out of your comfort zone and just going for it. Guess that's what I'm doing.

So with that I think I'll get back to my pre-program readings, curried lentil soup eating, and eventually sleeping. I hope I go to the right class room tomorrow!

I hope you feel excited for your new adventures too!

Personal legends: why no resistance matters

The lesson for our last week in Costa Rica seems fitting. Live, with all your energy, your personal legend. If "personal legend" sounds familiar, it might be because it's from Paul Coelho's The Alchemist.

The book was kicking around at the Flutterby, a tipi, yurt, hut, dorm, and tree house sporting hotel near Ballena National Park in Uvita. One night while Rick, Ian, and Tim were surfing and Elisa and I were waiting for the wounds in our boards to dry out,
I picked it up. A few pages in, I couldn't put it down, and the lessons in the book seemed more and more applicable to the blog as I kept reading.

The purpose of the blog, aside from assuring my family that I am safe and happy, was to encourage a no resistance attitude. I never articulated to myself why "no resistance" was so important; now I know. If I am to live my personal legend (however small or large it may seem) I can't be stifled by resistance. I have to take calculated risks, try new things, do the scary things, and persist through the difficult. These are lessons I've learned while surfing, traveling, eating, jumping off and sliding down falls, and meeting new and inspiring people.

The Flutterby had only been open for three months when Rick and I got there. Pam, the friendly and knowlegable owner built the place from the ground up, and now had some help from work-stay traveler setting up more huts and helping her take care of the chickens, dogs, and hotel guests. Pam mentioned that she had been working on the Flutterby for the last year. The sturdy huts, immaculate kitchen, and overwhelmingly freindly atmosphere are just a few hints that her heart and soul is in this place. She cleared the plot of land despite encounters with fer-de-lances (she now has anti-venom in the fridge just in case), she figured out how to navigate the legal system in a foreign country and apply for the correct permits, she hammered in signs along the streets of Uvita so visitors would be drawn to her near-beach front location.

Her hard work is beginning to pay off. In the week we were there, a steady stream of visitors set up camp at the Flutterby, travelers with the surf itch hiked to her hotel to rent boards, she's developed networks with local tour guides and activity guides who provide a daily sampling of things to do for her guests.

I guess it's no surprise The Alchemist would be a book on her hotel library shelf. She is putting everything on the line to reach a personal legend.

Back in wetsuit country, I have to put energy into remembering these lessons, the journey, and the irreplaceable experiences.

Dream big, don't hold back, be ready to be a little scared, take calculated risks, make calculated sacrifices, and surf the big one (or find that sloth).

We all can.

Thanks for reading and sharing this adventure.

Pura Vida!

A SLOTH!!!!

... or why it pays to be unabashedly hopeful and excited for something that may not occur.

I have a habit, as I´m sure most people do, of not getting my hopes up. It´s a pretty irritating habit because as soon as I put out a resume, or grad school applications, or turn in a paper, my first thoughts are ¨they´ll never hire me¨, ¨I´ll never get in¨, and ¨that´s the worst paper ever written¨. I set myself up to expect failure so that if I don´t get hired, get into school, or get an awful grade, it´s not as heartwrenching. I think that if by some miracle things do go well, I´ll just be super surprised, and that´s never a bad thing.

However, I seem to carry over the downer attitude even after things don't crash and burn. Because I expect failure, success is framed as a fluke. I got lucky or the task must've been easy. I can't revel in the success because it doesn't feel like success at all, no matter how hard I worked for it

The search for the three toed sloth has changed my mind set.

I was super stoked to see that sloth. Ask Rick. I pretty much talked about seeing a sloth for the whole trip, and have been nonstop about it since we got into Monteverde. If we were going to see a sloth on this trip, this would be the place to see it.

The first day in Monteverde, we spent recovering from the epic bus-wait trip. The second day, we hiked for four hours in the Monteverde Reserve and found many cool animals like the black guan, but still no sloth. We had two full days left, maybe a trip to Arenal on one of those days, and some omiyage shopping and errands to run. I was having my doubts about finding the sloth.

On the third day, we signed up for a night hike through the Santa Elena Reserve. It was sloth or bust. The expert tour guide spotted camoflaged palm pit vipers, crickets, mouse oppossums, humming bird nests, and all sorts of insects. But as the tour neared the end, so my hope for the sloth waned. But it waned only for a moment. I decided right then and there, that by golly I was not going to placate my excitement by telling myself that it has already been a fantastic trip. No, I was going to keep my hopes up, keep my excitement level at a pretty darned high point, because by-golly, I should not be afraid of disappointment. With great expectations, comes risk. I had to be willing to risk disappointment.

And lo and behold, as we were winding down a path, our interpid biologist got word on his walkie talkie of a slot sighting by his buddy.

The three toed sloth, hugging the ficus tree, was as magical as I had hoped. The cuteness factor on this slow relative of the anteater and armadillo is just through the roof. It yawned, licked its lips, and even climbed up the tree as we oggled it. I cannot remember if I have ever been this excited to see a wild animal before, and I am pretty sure that if I had prepared myself for disappointment rather than the possibility of success, that I would not have been that excited to actually see it.

Winnie the Pooh vs. Eyore

The sloth-or-bust attitude is one that I plan to bring back with me from this trip. Instead of thinking that it will always rain, or my makeshift house will always fall on my pinned up donkey tail, I would like to be like the optomistic, honey eating bear. Sure, anything is possible if you put your mind to it and are friendly and happy. And if things do not happen as you expect, then that is okay too. Heck, I know that if the sloth did not magically appear [I firmly believe sloths are magic...ly cute], I would still have thought this has been an AMAZING trip. I would have been disappointed, but I would have moved on, appreciating all the neat things we have already seen [like emerald tucans and orange kneed tarantulas].

Go big or go home. I think this is my new outlook.