The approach of a new school year always reminds me of the mounting dread I used to feel as a middle schooler (and quite frankly, probably even high schooler-- okay, I still feel it alright) of going back to school. So up until maybe the start of my undergrad career, without fail, the night before the first day of school, I would cry.
It's not like I had a bad school life. In fact, I had an awesome group of friends, supportive teachers, and was nerdy enough to genuinely enjoy class time. So why the tears? Because I am scared silly by the prospect of new things (even non-school related) and the possibility of failure.
Tonight I'm not in tears, though I'm still a little nervous. The faculty have done an excellent job of making the students feel welcome and the students I've met so far seem friendly, fun, and really into this English stuff. Still, the doubts about my capabilities in this new situation linger. To cope with these feelings I have a little system that includes some of my favorite things: preparation, friends, food, and sleep.
1) Be prepared. This means making sure I have all the materials I need for the first day, have printed out and organized e-mails and important documents, and know exactly where I have to go that first week of classes.
2) Say yes to social engagements. Social and Katie are not usually two words that go together. While interacting with human beings I don't know makes me nervous (I'm a tad socially awkward), it's better to make friends sooner than later! Friends make the journey much more pleasant. Plus, the reality is most people are friendly, engaging, and won't laugh (in your face) about your social ineptitudes.
3) Hang out with familiar faces. After being outside my comfort zone and meeting new people, it's been really nice to reconnect with old friends and stay connected with family. Not only are they a fun bunch of people, they are inspiring, re-energizing, and... a reminder that if they're still my friends, maybe other people will be too!
4) Do something totally relaxing. Rick and I booked a car from the Victoria Car Share and camped at Sombiro for three days. We woke up to the sound of stellar jays, crows, and waves raking jasper, sandstone, quartz, and illusive agate pebbles down the beach. For me, being outdoors reminds me that the world is such a big place-- I just need to step outside myself occasionally to realize the worries clouding my mind are such a minute part of the human experience (e.g. it's no big deal, so suck it up and just enjoy life).
5) Eat Comfort Food. This is probably one of my favorite steps. Recently, I've been gorging on curries-- Japanese, Red Thai Curry, and now a Curried Lentil Soup (recipe courtesy of "A Good Appetite" Blog ). For me, eating a curried lentil soup, or udon, or fried rice transform that feeling of impending doom to one mixed with happiness for the present, excitement for tomorrow, and appreciation for the past that has brought me to this point (whatever it may be). Plus-- I just really like eating.
6) Get A Good Night's Sleep. I'm much less effective (and certainly much more awkward) if I'm exhausted, so a good night's sleep keeps me on top of my game, and at the very least, from falling asleep in class.
7) Accept That Sheer Terror Can Be a Sign Of a Growth Opportunity. Okay, not sheer terror, but appropriate nervousness for a safe but new situation can be good. Growth comes by stepping out of your comfort zone and just going for it. Guess that's what I'm doing.
So with that I think I'll get back to my pre-program readings, curried lentil soup eating, and eventually sleeping. I hope I go to the right class room tomorrow!
I hope you feel excited for your new adventures too!
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